what to do on my dasy off alone
"Being alone never felt right. Sometimes it felt skilful, but information technology never felt right."
— Charles Bukowski
"This morning I felt lost and alone equally I was driving domicile subsequently a roughshod breakup with my swain. I turned on the radio and the Michael Jackson song 'You Are Not Lonely' was playing. A few seconds later on, at the verbal moment the chorus began, I passed a huge billboard sign with large black messages that read, 'You ARE NOT ALONE!'"
That'southward the opening paragraph of an email I received today from a reader named Ella. It made me smile because I beloved when life delivers seemingly coincidental, positive messages like that, right when nosotros demand them most.
However, the residual of Ella's electronic mail further described her ongoing struggle with feeling "lost and alone" in life. Which got me thinking…
Why do people accept to experience this way? What's the betoken of it all? Millions of people in this earth, all of them peckish connectedness, and looking for specific experiences and people to satisfy them, yet inadvertently isolating themselves in the process. Why? Was the planet put here but to nourish our loneliness?
The more than I've experienced and explored my own feelings of doubtfulness and loneliness, the more I've realized how necessary these feelings are. It'south practiced for us to spend time exploring unknowns, alone. It gives us an opportunity to discover who we really are and what life is all about.
Here are some things to go on in mind when you feel lost and alone:
1. You are non lonely in being alone.
So many of us are fighting the aforementioned exact boxing alongside yous. Nosotros are all in this together. So no affair how embarrassed or pathetic y'all feel near your own situation, know that in that location are others out there experiencing the same emotions. When y'all hear yourself say, "I am all alone," it's just your worried mind trying to sell you a prevarication. In that location's always someone who can relate to y'all. Perchance you tin can't immediately talk to them, but they are out at that place, and that's all you need to know right now.
two. Sometimes when yous're lonely, you need to be alone.
Sometimes you need to be alone, not to be lonely, but to enjoy a little free time but beingness yourself and finding your way. In other words, the moments you feel lonely are the moments you may most need to be by yourself. This is i of life's cruelest ironies.
We need confinement, because when nosotros're solitary we're detached from obligations, nosotros don't need to put on a show, and we can hear our own thoughts and feel what our intuition is telling the states. And the truth is, throughout your life there will exist times when the world gets real tranquillity and the merely thing left is the beat of your own heart. So yous'd meliorate learn the sound of it, otherwise yous'll never empathise what information technology'due south telling you. (Read Quiet: The Power of Introverts.)
3. You have to be a little lost first to observe what you lot're looking for.
Not until y'all are lost in this earth can you begin to observe your best path. Realizing you are lost is the first stride to living the life you want. The second step is leaving the life you don't want. Making a big life change is pretty scary. But you know what'south even scarier? Regret.
I tin can tell you from my ain life experience that I've found love, lost information technology, found information technology, lost it and and so I constitute information technology once once more. But each time what I found was more than incredible than the last. And then remember that anybody suffers in life at some bespeak. Anybody feels lost sometimes. The cardinal is using your experiences to grow. When yous apply what you're learning to your future choices and deportment, you lot move frontwards not backward. You go stronger and wiser. It'south not piece of cake, but it's worth it in the end.
4. It's all about accepting the reality of what is.
You cannot observe peace by avoiding life. Life spins with unexpected changes; so instead of avoiding it, have every modify and experience equally a challenge for growth. Either it volition give you lot what you lot want or it will teach you what the next pace is. And remember, finding peace in life does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, no challenges, and no hard work. Information technology ways to be in the midst of those things while remaining at-home in your heart.
Honestly, life is as well brusk to spend at war with yourself. The biggest disappointments in our lives are often the result of misplaced expectations. Letting go of needless expectations is your first step to happiness. Come up from a mindset of peace and acceptance, and you tin can deal with almost annihilation and grow beyond it.
five. In every situation, YOU choose your attitude.
Be adamant to exist positive. Understand that the greater part of your misery or unhappiness is determined not by your circumstances, but by your attitude. A happy person is not a person who's e'er in a practiced situation, but rather a person who always has a skilful attitude in every situation. So smiling at those who often effort to begrudge or hurt you; evidence them what'due south missing in their life and what they can't have away from you. Doing so doesn't mean forgetting or giving in, it means you cull happiness over hurt. (Read Buddha's Brain.)
6. Being lonely does not mean you are solitary, and being lonely does not mean you are alone.
The trouble is non always in being lone; it's beingness lone in the presence of others. 1 tin can be solitary in the midst of a crowd. Wouldn't yous agree? So continue this in mind and choose your relationships wisely. It's always improve to exist lone than to be in bad visitor. And when you do decide to come back for someone, do so because you're truly better off with this person. Don't do it just for the sake not being alone.
7. Everyone you care almost does Non need to support your decisions.
Friends and family won't always back up your goals, but you must pursue them anyhow. Follow your intuition. Following your intuition means doing what feels right, even if it doesn't look or audio right to others. Only fourth dimension will tell, but our human instincts are rarely wrong. Even if things don't plow out as you predictable, at to the lowest degree you won't have to spend the rest of your life wondering what could take been. So don't worry near what everyone else thinks; but keep living and speaking your truth.
Ultimately, you lot know yous're on the right runway in life when y'all become uninterested in looking back, and eager to accept the adjacent step, regardless of what anyone else thinks.
8. You are not who you lot used to be, and that'southward OK.
Y'all've been injure; you've gone through numerous ups and downs that have made you lot who y'all are today. Over the years, and then many things accept happened – things that have changed your perspective, taught you lessons, and forced your spirit to grow. As time passes, nobody stays the aforementioned, simply some people will notwithstanding tell yous that yous have inverse. Reply to them past saying, "Of class I've changed. That's what life is all about. I'm however the same human existence, just a little stronger at present than I e'er was before."
9. The all-time you can do changes from day to day.
Ever do your best. And realize that "your all-time" is going to modify repeatedly. For instance, it will be different when y'all are salubrious every bit opposed to sick.
Under whatever circumstance, simply practise your best in the nowadays moment and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret. And call up that no thing what'south happening, you can efficiently fight the battles of just today. It's simply when yous add the battles of those two bottomless eternities, yesterday and tomorrow, that life gets overwhelmingly complicated. It'due south necessary, therefore, to allow yourself live just i day at a fourth dimension – but today – just correct here, right at present. And exercise the all-time you tin can in it. (Angel and I discuss this in more particular in the "Self_love" chapter of 1,000 Picayune Things Happy, Successful People Practise Differently.)
x. Information technology all matters in the cease – every step, every regret, every smile, and every struggle.
The seemingly useless happenings add up to something. The minimum wage job you had in loftier school. The evenings y'all spent socializing with colleagues you lot never encounter anymore. The hours you spent writing thoughts on a personal blog that no one reads. Contemplations about elaborate future plans that never came to exist. All those alone nights spent reading novels and news columns and comics strips and fashion magazines and questioning your own principles on life and sex and organized religion and whether or not yous're practiced plenty only the way yous are. All of this has strengthened you. All of this has led you lot to every success you've e'er had. All of this has fabricated yous who you are today.
The floor is yours…
What helps you stay positive when you feel lost and alone? What's something encouraging you effort to keep in heed when you lot're up against lots of uncertainty? Go out a annotate beneath and share your thoughts.
Photo by: Fiddling Zoker
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Source: https://www.marcandangel.com/2014/03/19/10-things-to-remember-when-you-feel-lost-and-alone/